Now, some of you may know this, but my father is a coupon fanatic. A serious fanatic. He's got a 10 year old blue Tupperware box in which he stores all of his coupons. This makes it quite... interesting to go shopping with him. He's always getting weird, random, and sometimes downright disgusting stuff for cheap-as-free(TM). You're probably wondering what this has to do with Olives, right? Well, this story about coupons explains why my dad bought two Supreme frozen pizzas at Harris Teeter last Wednesday.
We ate the pizzas on the next Friday, as it is somewhat of a tradition to eat pizza on Fridays at my house. I have no idea how it started, but oh well. I took the slice and started to take a big bite...
... when I saw an olive.
An olive. On the greatest kind of pizza ever invented.
I screamed and threw the pizza against the wall. "What's wrong?" my mom asked. "Did you see a bug?"
"NO!" I wailed. "I saw an OLIVE!! AN OLIVE!!" I ran into the kitchen, grabbed a trashbag and some Lysol (TM! Give us money now!) and sprayed that thing like there was no tomorrow. Using a pair of heavy duty rubber gloves, I threw it into the trashbag. I tied the top and threw it into the dumpster.
Sadly, I did not think until later to check the pizza for any clues as to who sent it. My vote's still going to LarkCorp, but I have no proof. Anyone want to volunteer looking through the local landfill?
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To those of you who know Somm-1 from various forums (He hates olives)... I went to his house and his sister made pizza with those things on them. As cannon fodder for the AOB, of course I had to destroy the pizza (Minus the olives). Do not worry, I ate no olives. Just pepperoni. And mushrooms. And lots of cheese. (After I destroyed the one pizza his sister gave up on trying to get me to eat the olives)
I'm curious as to how the greatest kind of pizza ever invented had an olive on it...
Be careful, officer Smug. Cooked and with juices running out of the olives, those pizza slices could well have been still full of OL-6.
I used to not like olives on my pizza, too. But then... Well, one day I decided to try liking olives. And you know what? I'm into them now. 'Cause they pack a powerful flavour, so you feel like you're getting your money's worth from them. With things like, say, green peppers, you hardly even know they're there. So, I'm just saying, maybe you want to give olives another chance? The black ones are a bit tamer than the green ones. So you could start with black and work your way up to green. Although, they do say: "Once you go black, you never go back." But maybe they weren't talking about olives...
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