An AOB Christmas

This is my second Christmas with the AOB. It has proved very... interesting. Of course, we have to turn down the chip dip with olives that Commander Seth's fangirls send him. Apparently they forgot what we're fighting against the moment they saw Seth's face in the newspaper. (I *knew* newspaper articles were a bad idea, but would he listen? Noooooo.) I seem to rememeber that chip dip from somewhere... Hmm... Oh yes! My cousins used to bring it to our family gatherings. Even then, they were slaves to the olives. I wonder if one of them is now Seth's secret admirer. Pretty soon he'll have to hire an official letter-reader to separate the fan mail from the business. If business starts falling behind, we'll know that happened: Seth stopped having to open it in the hopes that it was fan mail instead.

Also, secret bases are very difficult to make look festive. Houses, no problem! But when you've got the bland efficiency of a secret base, it's another story. Garlands hung around sliding metal doors just don't give the same effect. And where's our fireplace? We don't have one. Good thing we're all aware that Santa doesn't bring us presents. Otherwise there would be some very sad olive-fighters around. We'd probably slip up and accidentally EAT some of that olive-filled chip dip in our distress.

I pulled Agent Delta away from his surveillance to decorate the Christmas tree with me. I don't think he enjoyed that very much, but I was hardly going to decorate the tree alone! His tallness was useful since he could reach the top of the tree and I couldn't. If you look at the tree squinty-eyed you can't even tell that the top only has red and blue decorations on it while the bottom is a multitude of colours.

On my way to the kitchen in search of some hot chocolate, I passed underneath a couple mistletoe-guarded doorways. I haven't yet caught anyone hanging mistletoe, but I have my suspicions as to who it is. At least I'm not the only one decorating the base... Rachel was already making hot chocolate, so she was free of suspicion. She did warn me to watch out for Aaron and Alex around though. It sounds like they covered the whole ceiling in the great hall. They hoped to make it look like fan-girl work, but they've been hanging around there a little too often for that.

We gathered for presents. I realize now that having us all in one place at the same time was a bad idea. Even in our own base. Some of those mistletoes on the ceiling were fake. And filled with OL-6. Lark must have detonated them from a remote location. Agent Delta was on his guard and pushed Seth out of the way of the barrage falling down on us. I'm afraid I blacked out then and don't remember the rest, except that I seemed to be singing and dancing... I asked Aaron about that later, but he wouldn't say anything on the subject. He was probably hit by the OL-6 too. However, we survived and got all olive-loving thoughts removed from our heads by the remedies I had in the lab. Now we'll have to think of a way to get Lark Corp back next Christmas.

Operation Mothers' Day

Date: May 14, 2006 aka. Mothers' Day
Time: 1700 UTC
After attending church and praying for his safety that he might be able to get his report to where it could help save mankind, Comrade Aaron went to a local Olive Garden believed to be a regional Olive Lovers headquarters. It was to appear as an innocent Mothers' Day luncheon. This appearance was secure because of the fact that his own parents and siblings are olive lovers. Upon successfully making it past the Olive Garden personell at the main entrance, this is what Comrade Aaron discovered...
The Olive Garden, Eastern US Olive Lovers' HQ.
A device they have you take to your car. It is remotely controlled and has a somewhat hypnotic effect when it goes off. Comrade Aaron was nearly compelled by it to reveal that he was an AOB agent and official.
Brother Joel is greatly addicted to OL-6. The effects are more obvious in him than any other olive lovers observed causing total insanity.
Father Bob is constantly tired and sluggish due to the way OL-6 has effected his system.
Mother Nancy appears the most normal.
Brother Nathan was unable to hold still enough for a picture until the food came and he knew that by taking a moment to pose he could have massive ammounts of olives and through them OL-6.
Comrade Aaron, forced for years to watch his family become the mindless slaves of olives, he finally vowed to help save mankind. At the time of this picture he was successfully looking a little foolish and out of it so as to blend in with the olive lovers all around him. He had the picture taken so his family wouldn't supect anything of him taking their pictures too.
An assortment of primitive hand weapons provided wrapped in an innocent looking ccloth napkin to all olive lovers who are let into Olive Garden.
Comrade Aaron's drink. He ordered cranberry juice, but recieved this. Being master of colorless and odorless poisons, he should have known better, but the OL-6 in the Olive Garden air was getting to him, and he drank a few glasses full. It turned out to be laced with OL-6. It took him a full week to recover from it despite the very small quantity.
All the food was filled with disgusting ammounts of olives.

Salad with olives.
Pepperoni pizza with olives.
Comrade Aarons shrimp dish, which upon careful examination was found to have large numbers of clices olives hidden under tha first layer.
Comrade Aaron took home samples of various Olive Garden substance on the pretense of not being able to eat any more of such good food. Upon arriving home and taking some time to recover he sent the samples to Dr. Canada for analysis.
The after dinner candy everyone was given. Upon examination it was found to be stamped with "Andes". Perhaps there is an operation formerly unknown in the Andes Mountains of South America. This seems likely since they are obviously providing Olive Garden with supplies.
After recovering from the OL-6 he had been exposed to, Comrade Aaron killed half a score of olives in front of captive olive lovers as an example of what would happen to them if they didn't talk more.

World, be warned of the danger of olives!

All power and glory to the AOB!